I’m back with another of my latest edible excursions but this time I’m not here to scrutinize the culinary offering. Sure, the famous Cat Café in Manchester‘s trendy Northern Quarter is most definitely that… a café. It comes complete with unlimited cold beverages and hot drinks all included in the price of your £12 ticket but seriously… who gives a damn about that when there are 12 cats winding around the tables and snoozing the day away in their miniature bunk beds?
I mean, the double chocolate muffin I hurriedly chose from the fridge could have come straight out of a litter tray for all I noticed…
If you’re the kind of person who would rather crap in your hands and clap than be surrounded by four-legged creatures of the fur-shedding kind while you sip on your cuppa then go read about my healthy snack advice or something instead. My mum and I, on the other hand, are more than happy to be clambered on by felines – crazy cat ladies, if you will. Plus you know how much I love an activity day with the two legends who created me. Right, dad?
I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive when booking our tickets. Morally conflicted even. Should animals really be paraded in a cafe? What if they escape? What if the whistle of the coffee machine scares them? What if some dumbass of the street walks in with the wrong intentions? Well I’m happy to confirm that most my worries were extinguished. I guess they might still be plotting a great escape but it didn’t seem immediately obvious to me after close examination and security was paramount the entire time.
You have to pass through 3 doors before actually reaching the feline abode and you’re asked to take off your shoes or wear protective coverings over them before entering. Plus, at £12 a pop for just an hour with the kitties and £1 per every 5 minutes thereafter, I think the threat of dumbasses up to no good is pretty slim. Plus, the cats have a private space in the back of the notably stylish venue which is a no visitor zone for when they get sick of our incessant petting and here, kitty kitty calls.
We were lucky enough to do some people watching out the window with the beautiful Ygritte, play tug o’ war with the mischievous Snowy and look on with gooey eyes and melting hearts as little fluffy Hugo made himself comfortable on a foot stool in the sun. All the while glancing around at one of the girls who worked there, sashaying around in her black cat dungaree dress, greeting each animal personally as she went and thinking bloody hell, you really have got the best job on the planet, love.
Stroking cats who are curled up asleep in an old Apple Macintosh monitor with a mini Batmobile car parked up front – what a time to be alive, hey. The café even offers free WiFi so you can upload your selfies with Fluffy, Savannah and Aslan as you go.
I’ve got to be honest, we didn’t quite get as much cat contact as we’d have liked or imagined but then feline’s will be aloof and humans will be continually smothering and annoying. I guess you’ve got to remember, it is their home you’re visiting and you are just one in a long line coming to ogle them (seriously, book tickets in advance).
You are but a mere human, only there to bask in the presence of such majestic superiority on four paws. Bow down.