Brace yourself for some basic bitch behaviour because my fantasy kitchen wishlist is pretty much a carbon copy of many a Pinterest board but alas, the heart wants what the heart wants. Okay so let’s get the show on the road…
A KitchenAid of dreams
I’ve been drooling over KitchenAid for decades now but just never really had the room (or the bank balance) to justify one. I guess they are somewhat cumbersome and potentially a tad unnecessary but then so is a giant crumpet and I just can’t get enough of those bad boys. My KitchenAid lusting had subsided marginally until I watched Mary Berry’s Christmas Party on BBC One this week and I can confirm it’s back with a burning vengeance.
My very own air fryer
Now I’m not saying an air fryer is any replacement for homemade family recipes or the painstaking methods the greatest chefs go to to finesse their incredible pastry recipes but it would be handy. I’ve consoled many a loved one in the wake of a troublesome fan oven and I’ve noticed this new way of cooking things is becoming increasingly popular amongst my foodie friends. I’m told it’s a healthier way of doing things too so it would be great in January when I’m cursing all of the cake I can’t shift from my hips. Give me a shout if you have one in your kitchen.
A big old kitchen island
I currently operate in a kitchen where there is barely enough room to swing a gerbil, nevermind a cat so my dreams of a wooden kitchen island complete with electric hob and bar stools is very much a-go. I’m talking American movie style kitchen island with under-counter storage, suspended light fixtures and a gorgeous marble top. Yes please.
A robotic hoover
Yep, that’s right, a bloody robotic vacumm okay? I mean, we’re only 11 days off 2018 now so who the hell wants to be pushing a hoover round anymore? Sorry Henry, you’re getting relegated. Not even Henrietta will be sucking her way off the subs bench when I have my fantasy kitchen in order, no matter how cute she is.
A chunky farmhouse sink
You know the ones – the ones that you see on the front of Good Housekeeping or splashed across the centrefold of Good Food magazine with a beautifully embroidered tea towel folded over it as if Fairy Liquid and spaghetti splash back doesn’t exist. Who needs a sink that you can only wash dishes in when you could have a beautiful, big, white basin that can also bathe puppies and such like. Plus, it would look great next to my kitchen island wouldn’t it?
A remote thermostat
As if the futuristic vacumm wasn’t diva behaviour enough, I’ve also got my eyes on a remote thermostat. As somebody who loves nothing more than unlocking my front door and curling up in the warmth of my humble abode, but also someone who isn’t too keen on energy wasting this is the perfect solution. I’m told a remote thermostat can be controlled through a smart phone application (fancy, huh) so it would be no mo’ jumping under the covers before I can get the dinner on.
I have also got a niggling hankering for one of Dreamworks Beds custom snooze nests but I’ll put my ‘first world probs’ to rest for today before somebody slaps me through the computer screen!